does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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