what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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