I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
