so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
What drink are we having for lunch?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
