After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
