i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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