Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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