guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
