i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
