Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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