just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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