yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize