Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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