i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
