it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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