I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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