we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
