I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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