I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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