I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
