What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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