Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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