Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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