your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
