The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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