Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
