They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
