I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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