also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
