4 words: hood of his car
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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