So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
