Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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