haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
