Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
