wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
