He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
