youre lurking in front of me
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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