How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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