That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
