Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i can't wait to go to hell

(1-248): View more from Michigan

yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does

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(315): View more from New York

Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop

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(714): View more from California

I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?

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(253): View more from Washington

I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.

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