You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
