All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Drake has all the answers
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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