the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize