I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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