There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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