Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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