please come you make the beer taste better
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
