just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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