So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
