I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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