she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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