So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
