Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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