I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
