apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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