I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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