help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize