He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize