"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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