I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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