drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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