how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
sex in a hospital.. check
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
