No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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